“Ahh Tinder, the crystal meth of online dating.” – Simon Taylor, Comedian
So here I am sitting in my “office” checking my emails and I have over 100 invites to dating websites. I swear its like the moment you become single, the dating gods know and start throwing dicks at your face. Hello back the fuck off please and let me enjoy some alone time. I am recently single and technically still “married,”but I want to enjoy myself and enjoy my independence for as along as I can before the “right” man comes around.
So do not get me wrong, if I find someone attractive and they want to chat, I am all ears, but having to pay a company to find me a date seems pretty absurd. I haven’t been in the dating game in a very long time and most men I know are either dating someone or married.
Hey if this is something you do, more power to you, I tried, but it was exhausting. What happened to the days where you met people in random restaurants, school, or grocery stores. Dating seems exhausting right now.
Can I just find someone who wants to cuddle and then go home?! I kid I kid, but seriously, people help me out here. Although I am not ready today, I did join Tinder the other day and damn it was like the moment I swiped right the dick pics started to fly. Listen slow down boy at least ask me how I am doing, let’s get to know each other before you bombard me with your tiny penises. I did chat with a firefighter for a few days to which he tried reminding me daily how hot he was by sending me a photo of his body in bed. So I cancelled Tinder because well… I would like to be able to hold a conversation with someone. Then I joined E-Harmony and Match and although both seemed great, just to get started you needed to answer to the freaking FBI/CIA. So many freaking questions I gave up, plus I wasn’t paying a single dime.
Not to mention I have a 3 year old daughter who is extremely smart and I definitely do not need some random stranger coming to my house or stalking me, because I am amazing. HA HA HA. Too much confidence huh?
No seriously, the mix changes when you have a kid. You need to make sure you are picking a good one to come around your kid. Your kid is your BIGGEST responsibility and you need to keep your child safe and to be honest not a lot of men or women want that responsibility (which I do not expect anyone to claim my kid because she has a wonderful dad,) but you also do not want to pick a douche bag or someone who will mistreat the little one.
On that note, I ask you ladies and gentlemen where did YOU meet your significant other?
Share with me where you go to meet people?
Share with me your horror stories along with your feel good stories. Do not be shy!