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Soul Searching + Self Love =’s HAPPINESS <3

“Sometime, you just need to take a break.  Take time for yourself in order to gain a new perspective on “YOU” and what “YOU” want and need out of life”- Unknown

da24844d0d7f3c5667d4127f5e6688d8--self-discovery-quotes-bensonWow its been two months since I last wrote something on this page.  I made a promise to myself when I opened up my blog that I would write 2 or 3 post a week and gradually grow it from there and I have not been doing a good job about that.  I have also not been doing a good job in my own personal life which is so upsetting to me because the person I am becoming is not the person that I want to be and definitely not the person I want other people to think I am.

After my separation with my ex husband last year my mind and body have not stopped.  I am constantly busy at work, side hustling, going on vacations, going out at night or on the weekends when I do not have my daughter and I have NOT let myself properly heal or grieve the situation that is called “DIVORCE,” but my body and mind are telling me it is time. My anxiety and depression is telling me its time to get my shit together and work on myself and make myself better before I send myself to a hospital.

So how do I deal with those emotions?

I hate change and I hate not being in control so I deal with my issues the only two ways I know.. Its called the lazy ways.

  1. I completely shut myself out from the world.  I go to work then just come home and stay in bed.  I do not return calls or text messages. I don’t want to hangout with anyone except my kid because she is what keeps me going daily.
  2. The other way I deal with hard things is to drink the pain or hurt away.

The reality in the matter is that neither of those two things work because they never fixed anything in the past for me, but you know what does help me? Taking care of myself, reading, writing, going back to the gym, going for runs, playing with my kid, and doing dinner with my girlfriends, BUT TALKING about it truly is what helps me.

These days my depression and anxiety have been killing me. I am having panic attacks daily and I don want to leave my house. I just wanna wear my jammies and veg out all day, and people THIS IS NOT THE PERSON I AM.

So today I got the reality check that I was not expecting.  I woke up hungover as FUCK fighting with someone who I love deeply, because I am a fucking moron and don’t know how to hold my liquor and then said some hurtful things and this wasnt the first time ive done this.  This is not the person I am. I am not mean. I am not vile. I am not Nasty. I am not scary.

You see, I don’t smile anymore. I don’t laugh anymore. I am much more calmer now which is great, but I miss the Jasandra that laughs, and giggles and is a sarcastic asshole that we all love.

So although last nights drunken shenanigans was a curse, it was a blessing for me.

So I am going to do things a little different this time in hopes of going back to the HAPPY ME.  I paid for another month at the gym so I can start going back after work, I ate a balanced meal for breakfast this morning, I ordered a book on amazon called SoberAF where Sarah talks about her 2 year sober journey41WArCR9YeL._AC_UL320_SR214,320_ (1) through self-love and rediscovery (which I am very excited about), I am going to let myself feel the emotions of everything whether its sadness, happiness, depression, whatever it may be I will allow myself to feel them and then work through them without having to stay locked in my house or curled over the toilet vomiting from all the wine I drank. Shit hangovers aren’t the same anymore when you’re 33 years old.

Wish me luck and  follow me on my Facebook page on this journey in hopes I too can help someone else who is struggling with this too.

 

468821911Always, Jasandra

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Letting go and creating your happiness.

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. “-Andy Warhol

Fuck guys!!!

Why the hell is it so hard for us to make a change in our lives?  Why is it so hard to stop worrying about others and start worrying about ourselves?  I mean listen, I am not a pro at this, and it took me a long time to get over the fear of change and the fear of what other people are going to think, it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, but I made it.

The moment I started living for me, that was the day all the weight on my shoulders just lifted off.  I could breath again.  I felt peace in my life.

So I ask you, what are you so afraid of?

We live in a world where people are constantly being told what they need to do or what they should do, but has anyone ever asked you “what do you want to do?” I know that not a lot of people ever asked me that before.life-is-about-finding-the-ones-that-make-you-happy-and-freeing-yourself-of-those-who-dont-quote-133

If you don’t know how to evaluate your life then lets go over a few tricks to help you out.

Write down all the things and people that make you unhappy.

Write down all the things or people that make you happy.

The next step is the fucken easiest part.

Do you find yourself making other people much more happier than you?

If so, then my dear you need to stop and start making yourself happy. Let go of what does not please you anymore and start letting the doors open for good things to come your way.

We all have some sort of baggage and I don’t care who you are, but you have baggage and that is okay, because we all have a past, and we all are in some sort of fucked up situation, but its better to walk away from what no longer suits you then to stay somewhere that makes you miserable.

Here are a few examples…

  • Are you in a job where you’re so unhappy you wake up dreading going in to work. Then right now, go and get on some job site and start looking for another job.
  • Are you in a relationship with someone and you are miserable? For whatever reason and you have been miserable for a while? Then evaluate the pros and cons and then get the fuck out or fix that shit. Stop complaining and using every excuse in the book to stay.  It’s only going to get worse, trust me I tried.
  • Do you feel you have some friends that don’t make you happy, don’t push you to be better, and or are judging you every step of the way? This is an easy one…BYE FELICIA
  • Family is blood, but unfortunately at the end of the day we did not get to chose them, so if someone is constantly pissing you off then call them out on it and if it doesn’t work then distance yourself or cut them out.
  • You’re in a job that isn’t paying you enough, grow some balls and ask for a raise, but only if you think you’re a bad ass and deserve one, if they don’t give it to you then start looking elsewhere.
  • You feel fat and do not exercise as much as you should do and find yourself constantly making excuses for yourself. Well guess what? STOP IT. Eat well workout and reap the benefits. (This one is more for me with the exercising part. LOL)PicMonkey Sample

DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT STAY SOMEWHERE OR SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO SUCK AND MAKE YOU UNHAPPY.

Life is way too short to be anything other than happy.  Listen we all have stress and we all have shit going on, but nothing will ever change if you don’t ever change and when the fuck is enough going to be enough for you?

So I leave you with this perfect quote from my all time favorite show, Grey’s Anatomy.

“We’re all going to die. We don’t get much say over how or when, but we do get to decide how we’re gonna live. So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.” – Richard Weber 

             468821911Always, Jasandra 

Find your passion & never look back

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” Harriet Tubman

PEACE OUT BABY!

It’s been a long time co18578884_10211350906422713_1212691773_nming and many of you have asked what I have been up to and I am finally ready to share with you the wonderful news that I am no longer a Beachbody Coach, but I am sure you all knew that already, and I’m not even mad about it.

After doing it for a while my heart was no longer in it, my beliefs, value, and vision were no longer what I thought it would be and I did not like the person I was becoming.

Just like everything else in my life, when I am not happy or something isn’t right, I either try and make it work or I move on, and with Beachbody it was something that I just had to move on from for my own personal reasons and my own sanity.

And ya’ll know I’m all about bettering myself and empowering YOU! So I am very blessed for all the friendships I made along the way, the weight I lost, for Shakeology which kept me sick free for a few years, but the best part for me was being able to help and empower every single woman I met and helped throughout their journey.

You guys are the main reason I do what I do, which leads me to what is next for me.

So Jasandra… What is???

Please say hi to your new CERTIFIED LIFE, WELLNESS, AND RELATIONSHIP COACH!

Yes, I went to school for it and yes it was accredited.

So yes I AM A LEGIT Coach!!

I am screaming from the rooftops of excitement and I am so FUCKEN happy I get to continue empowering women and be by their side while they figure out this thing called “LIFE.” The best part of all of this is that I get to do it on my own terms with my own rules, because this time I’ll be working for myself.

I’ll be empowering women to celebrate themselves every single day through the good and bad days, to live a life full of worth and growth, and to always, but always make themselves and their happiness a priority.

I have been wanting to share this for a while, and I have kept this from many people, but I will no longer be afraid to fail, because failing has lead me to find my true passion and failing has lead me to being able to help so many wonderful women.

So cheers to this amazing opportunity & to empowering a million more women to be the bad asses they were born to be ✌🏼

468821911Always, Jasandra 

My First Solo Trip & why you deserve to find yourself.

“If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but YOU for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.” ― Mandy Hale

So… Its been a minute, but here I am.. REFRESHED and ready to take over the world!  I just go back from my first solo trip to Savannah, Georgia and it was amazing! Ya’ll know I had this whole 2017 list of things I wanted to do and one was to travel alone.  Now since this was my first trip I stuck to staying in the USA, but I can already feel the urge to take another trip next year and  hello… I SURVIVED THE TRIP!

This past year has been a roller coaster ride, from filing for divorce and literally losing the only family I have known for the past 6 years (its funny how someone can cut you off with a quickness), to moving on my own and getting slapped with tons of new bills,  to going back to school, to hustling to make extra side cash to pay for everything, to feeling all alone because no one just gets it.  It has been insane, but through it all I knew I needed to do something for myself, not for my kid, but for ME.  I felt I needed to find myself again because I lost her a while back.18033387_10211114117863147_5357864755178880052_n

So I put my big girl panties on, booked an Airbnb with Rabo (click the link for his place), rented a car and headed off last week for 4 days. The adrenaline in my soul was running the whole way from St. Pete to Savannah and I was living it up.  Music loud in the car (hello I had XM Radio, I’ve never had that, shit the car even had a camera for when I backed up.  I am not rich and have never had the luxury to feel as luxurious I felt on this trip. I know now a days everyone has those little luxuries, but I don’t and never have, so it was new for me.) I was literally living a dream of mine and guess what? I worked my ass off between my full-time job, pet sitting , and baby sitting, and the best part was that I didn’t have to put one cent on a credit card.  CASH BABY.

17759856_10211029136818674_7130161121788681537_nSo here I was arriving in Savannah and heading to my Airbnb.  Checking in was super simple and my room was super freaking cute.  Small, but perfect for me! I unpacked and got my room ready for me, it was about an hour into my arrival that the nerves hit me and I started to panic and cry.  I looked in the mirror and started to ask myself “why were you on this trip and why did you drive 5 1/2 hours when you could have done something like this closer to home.” I did this for about 2 hours!!! I know! I am insane and I was acting like a baby, but I needed a good cry and a call to one of my best friends to get some sense knocked in to me.

I AM HERE FOR ME.  I AM HERE TO FIND MYSELF.  I AM HERE TO SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO FINALLY BE ALONE & FREE FROM UNHAPPINESS.  I AM HERE TO FIGURE OUT MY HEART AND THE FEELINGS IT HAS.

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I stopped my pity party, and jumped in the car and drove to the nearest coffee shop called The Sentient Bean, ordered a meal with a beer (yes beer at a coffee shop,) I picked a seat outside and enjoyed my food and drink.  I literally dated myself that night and It was memorizing.  The food was delicious, the beer was cold, and the evening was gorgeous.  I sat there and was present.  I looked around, talked to some strangers, and just enjoyed my company.  I’ll admit I felt weird at first, like if people were staring, but no fu**s were given.  I stayed for a movie that night (again, yes a movie at this coffee shop,) and just made it a fun night about me, doing things I would never do back at home.

When I woke up rested Thursday morning, I hit the streets and enjoyed every single block in Savannah. I walked my perky ass off for the next 3 days. I explored, I ate, I drank, I met people, I sat in coffee shops (plugged to the wall for charge LMAO,) but I enjoyed every single minute of it and I do not regret a single thing.

17992023_10211117328703416_8448132605919856089_nThere was something so amazing about being alone. I felt like a bad ass. I put my mind to something and I did it.  For me, being a parent has been draining and I love my kid so it has nothing to do with her, but as a woman or even a man, you start to lose sight of who you are or who you were and then it always feels hard or impossible to get back, but that is when you look inside yourself and fight for you. Happiness is the key to life and to live a life so miserable every single day is no life to live.  It took me a while to figure that out, but I am happy now. I have lost family, I have lost friends, people think I am an idiot for some of my choices, but those are choices I made and guess what? For the first time in a long time I am happy and I am doing great, better than I have been in a long time.  It’s hard and takes time to get use to, but the light at the end of the tunnel is so bright.

deen fammily*Jamie Deen, Paula Deen, Me (YAY), and Michael Groover*

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You guys, I even met the man of my dreams.  My ex can vouch that I threatened to leave him a million times if I ever had a chance with Mr. Jamie Deen (Paula Deens son-GOOGLE HIM if you don’t know him and ironic how my ex and I separated and then I met my celebrity crush.) There was a book signing the day before I was leaving back home at their store and restaurant called The Lady & Sons  (sorry for the unedited Photo) and I woke up that morning at 7am and put on my cutest ensemble with full-blown makeup and hair done.  You guys I was meeting my future husband! I had about 20 mini heart attacks while I was in line because I had over heard someone say he wasn’t going to be there because he was at a charity event.  The moment I realized he was there and I caught a glimpse of that smile, I started hyperventilating, sweating, and crying (ask my cousins who happened to be in town and were with me for the signing.) The tears were streaming down my face, I was shaking, and I am pretty sure everyone saw and heard me scream out with joy minus Jamie of course, because that would be so embarrassing, but what an amazing family.  They were so loving and sweet and just a family that seemed to love what they did.  I am truly happy that Mrs. Paula Deen is making her comeback she deserves all the success along with her family.  I can say without a doubt ill never forget this day.  If you have not been to the restaurant GO CHECK IT OUT.  I ended up eating there the day before I left and I cant wait to go back.

Jamie DeenHow freaking perfect are we together? His wife is lucky!

Any who, this trip was something I needed and I am very happy I did it and in the beautiful city of Savannah.  A small quaint town full of southern people who were willing to help you with anything you needed.  I have never in my life met so many amazing people and so full of life and joy.  I came back home with a sense of security, a sense of knowing that everything would be fine, a sense of freedom that I haven’t had in a while, a sense of finally knowing who I was and what I wanted.  While I figured most everything out, some things didn’t go as planned, but someone once told me that sometimes plans that don’t work out are way better anyways.

I came back home to people telling me I was their hero, that they looked up to me, that I was strong.  I’ll tell you a little secret, as vibrant and transparent as I am, it was hard, but I believe that once you push yourself to the limit, many amazing things can happen and that is all I did. I found myself and you can too.

If there is anything you can take from my story, let it be that you too are strong.  You too deserve happiness.  You too deserve to find yourself and live the life you have always wanted.

468821911Always, Jasandra 

PS. Shout out to Cara for introducing me to Slay Baby Collective! If it wasn’t for this group of amazing ladies, I would have NEVER had the courage to take this trip!

Continue reading “My First Solo Trip & why you deserve to find yourself.”

Because giving up is not an option!

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”– Dale Carnegie

If I had a dollar for every single time I wanted to give up on my dreams,  I would be rich right now. Literally living in a high-rise building over looking the beautiful bay sipping on some expensive ass champagne, but I am not, instead I am working every single day towards those goals.

I know the feeling of failure oh too well.  I know what it feels like to try and to never achieve.  I know what it feels like to never see the end of the tunnel.  Trust me, going after what you want is hard, but somehow it’s completely worth it.

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We see so many people around us, working hard and achieving their dreams or even some goals they might have.  Some might be small, some might be to become a millionaire, but let me tell you something the ones that don’t give up are the ones that achieve it.

My whole life I have had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. Shit after almost 33 years I NOW know what it is and I am going after it. Will it take me a month? no, it will take me a shitload of time, but I’ll keep going till I am there. I don’t give a fuck if I am 80 years old when I achieve my dream.

So when do you give up? When do you know its time to give up on that dream or that goal? The only answer I have for you is to “never give up.” Go after it every single day until you reach it. Yes, I know some times we feel that the goal is too far away, we start to feel unmotivated, like its taking forever, like we don’t have the money, the time, or the energy, but therein lies the problem.set-goals

You see, every single person that has achieved their goals felt that same way.. Like a failure, and guess what? That is okay because when you fail or when you fall, you get up and start over and each time you get back up, it’s another change to success.

Here are a few things I do to work towards my goals in life or some of my dreams.

  • I write down each goal I have. It doesn’t matter how small or how big.
  • I set a plan on what I need to do to reach that goal. Whether its to save money or move my schedule around.
  • I always set a deadline for things. Now this is where people think that if they reach their deadline and they haven’t achieved their goals they have failed or want to give up. NOOOOOOO. Don’t give up. You see when you reach your deadline, you’re so close, you just need some more time, but if you give up then you need to start all over again.
  • Research every single thing you need to know about this specific dream or goal. How other people got there, what other people did. Read books and articles. RESEARCH!!!
  • Mentally prepare yourself.
  • Tell your friends you will be skipping out on certain things because you have goals you need to achieve and going out to dinner every week wont get you closer.
  • Make a quiet space at home so you can work in peace or hit up a quiet coffee shop.
  • Work your goal or your dreams every single day. Doesn’t matter if its 5 minutes or an hour.
  • TAKE THE FIRST STEP and DON’T BE SCARED.
  •  ENJOY the ride and reap the benefits.

Please share with me some tips and ideas you have for reaching your goals.

468821911  Jasandra

 

 

 

 

 

I let my emotions alter my true feelings.

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” ― Mandy Hale

Hello beauties how are all my favorite people doing on this fine Saturday afternoon?

Its been about 5 1/2 months that I moved out from my ex’s house and a few months before that where I was not happy in said relationship, and although it’s been heartbreaking and it’s taken some time to get use to, I am slowly, but surely getting my groove back.  

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I am in a place right now where I LOVE being alone.  I love coming home, plopping myself in front of my television and just binge watching my favorite television shows (Currently watching Private Practice), or getting on my computer and researching some stuff, side hustling, finding fun recipes to make by myself or with Savannah, or going to the gym (which I slacked off in last week,) with my upcoming solo trip I am pretty ecstatic to be honest, but sometimes you miss having someone to share your stuff with.

I am human so I don’t want to hear that I am moving too fast and I need to give it time because it’s a feeling you can’t just turn off.b3b093bcb4c7f1270bf0a16e9643e913

The last few months have been pretty eye-opening to me with the whole dating poll I have been dealt with.

  • Men are lazy- Why join a dating site if you aren’t going to be using it? Why make contact with someone if you aren’t going to follow through with it? Why waste your time, or better yet, my time?
  • Men don’t want to date a woman with a kid- I have been told plenty of times.
  • Men want an easy piece of ass and that is it- Do not get me wrong I am all about experiencing one night stands, I mean its fun right? I am an adult and can handle them, but come on guys make a little bit of an effort.  I do although appreciate your honesty if that is all you want, but make it my worth wild for fuck sake and don’t talk to me about your dick. It’s not cute and it doesn’t turn me on.
  • I attract men in relationships. 

I am by no means saying that ALL men are this way because I know they aren’t.  I just don’t remember it being this hard back in the day and since when did trying to meet someone become almost as hard as making new friends?

drinkingWith my friends having babies, getting married, adventuring into new relationships, I feel I let that get the best of me and my emotions, when in reality, I know my worth and I know what I can offer, but right now I am so happy with the way things are going in my life, that I am extremely content.

I am not saying if tomorrow I met someone who was worth my time, I would let him go, I am just saying I am not looking, but what I am doing is continuing to enjoy this beautiful like I was given and continue living with no regrets.

Are you?

Always, Jasandra

 

 

YO.. Where have you been?!- Mind fucking myself with useful information.

“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has been before.”
—Albert Einstein

When you sit down and are ready to blog and realize its been a few days that you have not been on.. WHOA dudes, I wont apologize for that. SO much is going on! SO much great stuff going on!  Let me give you all an update of whats happening in the life of Jasandra.

First and foremost, one of my best friends got married this past weekend and it was a wedding to remember. So many fun memories, but a few times during the event there were so many reminders of what my life use to be to what it is now.  Just 5 years ago I was that person walking down the aisle thinking I would be marrying the man I would live happily forever, but man does time and hearts change.  Here I am about to file divorce papers.  The way I see it though, is that someone else found love this weekend and I couldn’t be happier to experience what “true love” really looks like.

GIRL YOU HAVE BEEN SO LOST!!

I haven’t been lost guys, I have been focusing more on me, focusing more on my daughter, and focusing more on my dreams and passion.  I have been more present the last few weeks than I have ever been.  Let me tell you that when you put your phone down, the world looks so different.PicMonkey Sample

I am not saying I don’t use my phone, because well… That would be a lie, but I haven’t been on Social Media as much as I normally am.  I promise it’s not because I dont love you because trust me I love y’all, but I am doing a little more of what makes ME happy and a little bit more of what will give me that “LIFE” I truly dream of.

I am spending my days reading, researching online, paying off my credit cards, writing down in my journal ideas about how and what I need to do to accomplish my goals, side hustling to make that extra cash to be able to splurge more often, enjoying my friends, enjoying my daughter and doing fun things with her, and writing down all these vacations I want to take.

I mean guys…. If you’re living a shitty life right now it doesn’t have to be that way.  You have so much life ahead of you, its time to start living.  

For fucks sake guys I just got life Insurance (who am I?)

In the mist of everything going on, I am learning, I am taking chances, I am starting new projects that I hope to share with you soon, I am discovering myself in ways I had no idea, and I am having fun guys!

So there, that is what I have been up to lately and I am so excited to share with you hopefully in the next few weeks what other tricks I have up my sleeve.

Until then, Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease ❤

Always,

Jasandra

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Treat. Yo. Self.

Do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog-Unknown

The last few months I have been trying to kill it at the gym and at home with my meals.  Its been difficult to say the least, but in between working, being a mom, side hustling, trying to live a life, I have managed to drop about 7 lbs and I couldn’t be happier.

tumblr_nxczvmoq661uelehno1_400My friend mentioned to me that she was possibly going to buy herself a new purse (I believe that is what it was) when she hit a new goal with her fitness, which made me stop and think about a goal I would want to achieve and a reward I would give myself. Have you ever done this? Sounds super fun and challenging which is always good.

Usually I set a goal and then I am like “Woohoo, I didn’t cheat this week, let me kill my diet during the weekend, with alcohol and a cheat meal in celebration,” and the next thing you know I have gained all the weight back and all my hard work has gone out the window.

So here with my followers I am going to set a goal and a reward for the month.

Come March, since February is practically over my goals will be as follows:

1.  Make it to the gym at least 3-4 days each week.
2. Eat low carb each week and drink 8 glasses of water a day.
3. I currently weight 176 & would like by the end of the month to at least be 170.

This seem like a lot to accomplish in a month, did you think I would make it super easy for myself? Ya’ll should know by now I love a challenge.

My re28bf206ada490688cac82e81e1966a37ward you ask?

A new pair of my favorite Ray Ban Sunglasses that I have been eyeing for a few months now.  If I don’t reach all 5 of my goals by the end of the month then I will have to try again the following month, but if I hit at least 4 out of 5, I will take myself out for a massage or a mani/pedi.

Have you ever used a reward system for your goals? What did you buy? What were your goals for the month?

Whos joining me?

Always, Jasandra

Your time is limited…. So do what you love.

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” – Ray Bradbury

inspirational-travel-quotes-03For years I have wanted to travel alone to a destination where I didn’t know a single person. My heart and my soul have been dying for this opportunity and although they were present, I never took them.  I let fear get into the way of what I truly wanted.  This year, one of my goals was to say no to the things that didn’t give me life or passion, and say yes to the things that made me feel alive. I also let money stop me in my decision.  I kept telling myself i couldn’t afford it, but yet I was going out drinking and eating out.  I needed to get my priorities straight.

So there I was one night a few weeks ago on Airbnb searching places to stay in different destinations. I asked my friends, I asked strangers, I asked every single person I came across, if I was making the right choice in traveling alone, along with it being safe. I questioned every single move of mine. Then it hit me, “FUCK IT AND BOOK IT, JASANDRA. You’ll survive and you’ll have the time of your life.  You have wanted this for a long time. If you don’t do it now, you’ll NEVER do it.”  So I found the cutest  freaking Historic home in Savannah, Georgia, emailed the guy and boom I booked it. If I would have contemplated too much I would have never done it. You guys, it’s so cute!!river-street-savannah-georgia-top

I get to drive now to a city I have never been in, talk to people I have never spoken to, take tours, hit up bars and restaurants and just travel at my leisure. I can sit in my room and write or a read a book, or get in my car and go else where.  There is no itinerary, there is no one waiting for me, there is no time limit.

I can get lost and in love with this beautiful city. Learn about myself along with loving on myself.

I am literally ecstatic to be doing this trip.  I bust my ass on the daily with my job and my kid, this momma deserves a trip where she doesn’t have to take care of anyone along with being free and not following any type of schedule…living on the edge, if you may.

795b3d785811e3387db58b1505a61ad6The way I see it is, if you keep waiting to do the things you love, you’ll be waiting forever. Time doesn’t stop for anyone and opportunities will pass you right on by. So go out there and book that trip, date that guy, sit at a bar alone, order some champagne, have sex, live your life.  Always with care and awareness, but live life.

If you’re a parent you deserve this, if you’re not you deserve this. Do not feel guilty, because you are human and we as humans deserve to spoil ourselves and enjoy the only life we have.

If tomorrow you died, would you have lived?

Always, Jasandra

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t hide the madness that is you. Live authentically true to yourself.

“ Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”– Allen Ginsberg

As I sit here this evening looking towards the future, I find my mind wandering back to my past and it makes me happy to see how far I have come in my 32 years of life.  You see growing up wasn’t always the easiest.  My whole life I have been known as the girl with the scabs on her legs, the girl who was overweight, the girl who wasn’t popular, and the girl who would never amount to anything.  These were all the things I was called during my school days. which don’t get me wrong, it fucken sucked, but it also shaped me to be who I am today.

67feb52b2af25ce2de6ba172679de7cdI have always been the kind of girl who played my own beat to my own my music and a lot of people dislike that. My family hated it.  They wanted me to be different. Skinnier, more by the books, you know.. Well guess what I am not that person and it has taken me a very long time to realize and accept that and guess what I am happy with who I am today January 2nd, 2017!

Even this past weekend when I was in Miami my grandmother called me “fat.” It truly never changes when I visit, but this time it got me right in the feels (could have been some of the red wine I had that didn’t help.) Not because it hurt me, but because that is when I realized that some people suck and that when I look in the mirror I see someone smart and beautiful and its a shame some people don’t see that too and define me by how I look or don’t look. Not to mention that in the past year I have lost over 40 pounds.

It has taken me many years, many self-help books, and many chats with myself to be the strong woman I am today. I roll with the punches.  If I am not happy, I will go find happiness. That goes for a job, my relationships, my friendships and truly anything in my life.   I am loud.  I am bonkers.  I curse like a sailor. I don’t have a filter.  I am honest to the core which sometimes sucks, but I am real and I will never change that.  If you hurt me, I will tell you.  If I like you, I will tell you.  If I fall in love with you, I will tell you.  If I am not happy, I will tell you.  If I hate my job, I will find another one.  If you don’t make time for me, I wont make time for you, but with that I am also the kindest, most loving, most loyal, most caring person you will ever meet.

diva2.gifWith this I tell you… Keep being yourself. Don’t ever change for anyone because you are the only you there needs to be. Some people will not be your cup of tea and vice versa and guess what? That is totally okay. Stand up for yourself. Don’t let anyone bully you or talk to you in a manner that is disrespectful to you.  Don’t let anyone treat you less than you deserve and always follow your dreams.  Fight for you and fight for what you believe in and always, but ALWAYS dance to the beat of your own drum.

Always, Jasandra