Because giving up is not an option!

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”– Dale Carnegie

If I had a dollar for every single time I wanted to give up on my dreams,  I would be rich right now. Literally living in a high-rise building over looking the beautiful bay sipping on some expensive ass champagne, but I am not, instead I am working every single day towards those goals.

I know the feeling of failure oh too well.  I know what it feels like to try and to never achieve.  I know what it feels like to never see the end of the tunnel.  Trust me, going after what you want is hard, but somehow it’s completely worth it.

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We see so many people around us, working hard and achieving their dreams or even some goals they might have.  Some might be small, some might be to become a millionaire, but let me tell you something the ones that don’t give up are the ones that achieve it.

My whole life I have had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. Shit after almost 33 years I NOW know what it is and I am going after it. Will it take me a month? no, it will take me a shitload of time, but I’ll keep going till I am there. I don’t give a fuck if I am 80 years old when I achieve my dream.

So when do you give up? When do you know its time to give up on that dream or that goal? The only answer I have for you is to “never give up.” Go after it every single day until you reach it. Yes, I know some times we feel that the goal is too far away, we start to feel unmotivated, like its taking forever, like we don’t have the money, the time, or the energy, but therein lies the problem.set-goals

You see, every single person that has achieved their goals felt that same way.. Like a failure, and guess what? That is okay because when you fail or when you fall, you get up and start over and each time you get back up, it’s another change to success.

Here are a few things I do to work towards my goals in life or some of my dreams.

  • I write down each goal I have. It doesn’t matter how small or how big.
  • I set a plan on what I need to do to reach that goal. Whether its to save money or move my schedule around.
  • I always set a deadline for things. Now this is where people think that if they reach their deadline and they haven’t achieved their goals they have failed or want to give up. NOOOOOOO. Don’t give up. You see when you reach your deadline, you’re so close, you just need some more time, but if you give up then you need to start all over again.
  • Research every single thing you need to know about this specific dream or goal. How other people got there, what other people did. Read books and articles. RESEARCH!!!
  • Mentally prepare yourself.
  • Tell your friends you will be skipping out on certain things because you have goals you need to achieve and going out to dinner every week wont get you closer.
  • Make a quiet space at home so you can work in peace or hit up a quiet coffee shop.
  • Work your goal or your dreams every single day. Doesn’t matter if its 5 minutes or an hour.
  • TAKE THE FIRST STEP and DON’T BE SCARED.
  •  ENJOY the ride and reap the benefits.

Please share with me some tips and ideas you have for reaching your goals.

468821911  Jasandra

 

 

 

 

 

I let my emotions alter my true feelings.

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” ― Mandy Hale

Hello beauties how are all my favorite people doing on this fine Saturday afternoon?

Its been about 5 1/2 months that I moved out from my ex’s house and a few months before that where I was not happy in said relationship, and although it’s been heartbreaking and it’s taken some time to get use to, I am slowly, but surely getting my groove back.  

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I am in a place right now where I LOVE being alone.  I love coming home, plopping myself in front of my television and just binge watching my favorite television shows (Currently watching Private Practice), or getting on my computer and researching some stuff, side hustling, finding fun recipes to make by myself or with Savannah, or going to the gym (which I slacked off in last week,) with my upcoming solo trip I am pretty ecstatic to be honest, but sometimes you miss having someone to share your stuff with.

I am human so I don’t want to hear that I am moving too fast and I need to give it time because it’s a feeling you can’t just turn off.b3b093bcb4c7f1270bf0a16e9643e913

The last few months have been pretty eye-opening to me with the whole dating poll I have been dealt with.

  • Men are lazy- Why join a dating site if you aren’t going to be using it? Why make contact with someone if you aren’t going to follow through with it? Why waste your time, or better yet, my time?
  • Men don’t want to date a woman with a kid- I have been told plenty of times.
  • Men want an easy piece of ass and that is it- Do not get me wrong I am all about experiencing one night stands, I mean its fun right? I am an adult and can handle them, but come on guys make a little bit of an effort.  I do although appreciate your honesty if that is all you want, but make it my worth wild for fuck sake and don’t talk to me about your dick. It’s not cute and it doesn’t turn me on.
  • I attract men in relationships. 

I am by no means saying that ALL men are this way because I know they aren’t.  I just don’t remember it being this hard back in the day and since when did trying to meet someone become almost as hard as making new friends?

drinkingWith my friends having babies, getting married, adventuring into new relationships, I feel I let that get the best of me and my emotions, when in reality, I know my worth and I know what I can offer, but right now I am so happy with the way things are going in my life, that I am extremely content.

I am not saying if tomorrow I met someone who was worth my time, I would let him go, I am just saying I am not looking, but what I am doing is continuing to enjoy this beautiful like I was given and continue living with no regrets.

Are you?

Always, Jasandra

 

 

YO.. Where have you been?!- Mind fucking myself with useful information.

“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has been before.”
—Albert Einstein

When you sit down and are ready to blog and realize its been a few days that you have not been on.. WHOA dudes, I wont apologize for that. SO much is going on! SO much great stuff going on!  Let me give you all an update of whats happening in the life of Jasandra.

First and foremost, one of my best friends got married this past weekend and it was a wedding to remember. So many fun memories, but a few times during the event there were so many reminders of what my life use to be to what it is now.  Just 5 years ago I was that person walking down the aisle thinking I would be marrying the man I would live happily forever, but man does time and hearts change.  Here I am about to file divorce papers.  The way I see it though, is that someone else found love this weekend and I couldn’t be happier to experience what “true love” really looks like.

GIRL YOU HAVE BEEN SO LOST!!

I haven’t been lost guys, I have been focusing more on me, focusing more on my daughter, and focusing more on my dreams and passion.  I have been more present the last few weeks than I have ever been.  Let me tell you that when you put your phone down, the world looks so different.PicMonkey Sample

I am not saying I don’t use my phone, because well… That would be a lie, but I haven’t been on Social Media as much as I normally am.  I promise it’s not because I dont love you because trust me I love y’all, but I am doing a little more of what makes ME happy and a little bit more of what will give me that “LIFE” I truly dream of.

I am spending my days reading, researching online, paying off my credit cards, writing down in my journal ideas about how and what I need to do to accomplish my goals, side hustling to make that extra cash to be able to splurge more often, enjoying my friends, enjoying my daughter and doing fun things with her, and writing down all these vacations I want to take.

I mean guys…. If you’re living a shitty life right now it doesn’t have to be that way.  You have so much life ahead of you, its time to start living.  

For fucks sake guys I just got life Insurance (who am I?)

In the mist of everything going on, I am learning, I am taking chances, I am starting new projects that I hope to share with you soon, I am discovering myself in ways I had no idea, and I am having fun guys!

So there, that is what I have been up to lately and I am so excited to share with you hopefully in the next few weeks what other tricks I have up my sleeve.

Until then, Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease ❤

Always,

Jasandra

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Treat. Yo. Self.

Do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog-Unknown

The last few months I have been trying to kill it at the gym and at home with my meals.  Its been difficult to say the least, but in between working, being a mom, side hustling, trying to live a life, I have managed to drop about 7 lbs and I couldn’t be happier.

tumblr_nxczvmoq661uelehno1_400My friend mentioned to me that she was possibly going to buy herself a new purse (I believe that is what it was) when she hit a new goal with her fitness, which made me stop and think about a goal I would want to achieve and a reward I would give myself. Have you ever done this? Sounds super fun and challenging which is always good.

Usually I set a goal and then I am like “Woohoo, I didn’t cheat this week, let me kill my diet during the weekend, with alcohol and a cheat meal in celebration,” and the next thing you know I have gained all the weight back and all my hard work has gone out the window.

So here with my followers I am going to set a goal and a reward for the month.

Come March, since February is practically over my goals will be as follows:

1.  Make it to the gym at least 3-4 days each week.
2. Eat low carb each week and drink 8 glasses of water a day.
3. I currently weight 176 & would like by the end of the month to at least be 170.

This seem like a lot to accomplish in a month, did you think I would make it super easy for myself? Ya’ll should know by now I love a challenge.

My re28bf206ada490688cac82e81e1966a37ward you ask?

A new pair of my favorite Ray Ban Sunglasses that I have been eyeing for a few months now.  If I don’t reach all 5 of my goals by the end of the month then I will have to try again the following month, but if I hit at least 4 out of 5, I will take myself out for a massage or a mani/pedi.

Have you ever used a reward system for your goals? What did you buy? What were your goals for the month?

Whos joining me?

Always, Jasandra

Your time is limited…. So do what you love.

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” – Ray Bradbury

inspirational-travel-quotes-03For years I have wanted to travel alone to a destination where I didn’t know a single person. My heart and my soul have been dying for this opportunity and although they were present, I never took them.  I let fear get into the way of what I truly wanted.  This year, one of my goals was to say no to the things that didn’t give me life or passion, and say yes to the things that made me feel alive. I also let money stop me in my decision.  I kept telling myself i couldn’t afford it, but yet I was going out drinking and eating out.  I needed to get my priorities straight.

So there I was one night a few weeks ago on Airbnb searching places to stay in different destinations. I asked my friends, I asked strangers, I asked every single person I came across, if I was making the right choice in traveling alone, along with it being safe. I questioned every single move of mine. Then it hit me, “FUCK IT AND BOOK IT, JASANDRA. You’ll survive and you’ll have the time of your life.  You have wanted this for a long time. If you don’t do it now, you’ll NEVER do it.”  So I found the cutest  freaking Historic home in Savannah, Georgia, emailed the guy and boom I booked it. If I would have contemplated too much I would have never done it. You guys, it’s so cute!!river-street-savannah-georgia-top

I get to drive now to a city I have never been in, talk to people I have never spoken to, take tours, hit up bars and restaurants and just travel at my leisure. I can sit in my room and write or a read a book, or get in my car and go else where.  There is no itinerary, there is no one waiting for me, there is no time limit.

I can get lost and in love with this beautiful city. Learn about myself along with loving on myself.

I am literally ecstatic to be doing this trip.  I bust my ass on the daily with my job and my kid, this momma deserves a trip where she doesn’t have to take care of anyone along with being free and not following any type of schedule…living on the edge, if you may.

795b3d785811e3387db58b1505a61ad6The way I see it is, if you keep waiting to do the things you love, you’ll be waiting forever. Time doesn’t stop for anyone and opportunities will pass you right on by. So go out there and book that trip, date that guy, sit at a bar alone, order some champagne, have sex, live your life.  Always with care and awareness, but live life.

If you’re a parent you deserve this, if you’re not you deserve this. Do not feel guilty, because you are human and we as humans deserve to spoil ourselves and enjoy the only life we have.

If tomorrow you died, would you have lived?

Always, Jasandra

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t hide the madness that is you. Live authentically true to yourself.

“ Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”– Allen Ginsberg

As I sit here this evening looking towards the future, I find my mind wandering back to my past and it makes me happy to see how far I have come in my 32 years of life.  You see growing up wasn’t always the easiest.  My whole life I have been known as the girl with the scabs on her legs, the girl who was overweight, the girl who wasn’t popular, and the girl who would never amount to anything.  These were all the things I was called during my school days. which don’t get me wrong, it fucken sucked, but it also shaped me to be who I am today.

67feb52b2af25ce2de6ba172679de7cdI have always been the kind of girl who played my own beat to my own my music and a lot of people dislike that. My family hated it.  They wanted me to be different. Skinnier, more by the books, you know.. Well guess what I am not that person and it has taken me a very long time to realize and accept that and guess what I am happy with who I am today January 2nd, 2017!

Even this past weekend when I was in Miami my grandmother called me “fat.” It truly never changes when I visit, but this time it got me right in the feels (could have been some of the red wine I had that didn’t help.) Not because it hurt me, but because that is when I realized that some people suck and that when I look in the mirror I see someone smart and beautiful and its a shame some people don’t see that too and define me by how I look or don’t look. Not to mention that in the past year I have lost over 40 pounds.

It has taken me many years, many self-help books, and many chats with myself to be the strong woman I am today. I roll with the punches.  If I am not happy, I will go find happiness. That goes for a job, my relationships, my friendships and truly anything in my life.   I am loud.  I am bonkers.  I curse like a sailor. I don’t have a filter.  I am honest to the core which sometimes sucks, but I am real and I will never change that.  If you hurt me, I will tell you.  If I like you, I will tell you.  If I fall in love with you, I will tell you.  If I am not happy, I will tell you.  If I hate my job, I will find another one.  If you don’t make time for me, I wont make time for you, but with that I am also the kindest, most loving, most loyal, most caring person you will ever meet.

diva2.gifWith this I tell you… Keep being yourself. Don’t ever change for anyone because you are the only you there needs to be. Some people will not be your cup of tea and vice versa and guess what? That is totally okay. Stand up for yourself. Don’t let anyone bully you or talk to you in a manner that is disrespectful to you.  Don’t let anyone treat you less than you deserve and always follow your dreams.  Fight for you and fight for what you believe in and always, but ALWAYS dance to the beat of your own drum.

Always, Jasandra

“Ringing” in the New Year for a better 2017

“Life has no remote, so wake up and change it.” – Sushil Singh

To say 2016 has sucked is an understatement, I can easily say it was a tough year, for if not all of us, most of us, but I am ready for a fresh start in 2017.  Although this year brought me a lot of sadness it also brought me a lot of happiness.  I’ll share a few with you.

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  • We celebrated our daughters 3rd birthday at Magic Kingdom.
  • I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my friend Felicia and Jays wedding.
  • We took Savannah on her first cruise.
  • My sister had a baby.
  • I got a new job, which I am totally in love with.
  • I attended a few concerts with my besties.
  • I got a new apartment.
  • We got a bunny.
  • I had an amazing Christmas eve & Christmas.
  • I took a few trips to Miami to visit family.
  • I have met a few amazing people.
  • I have spent more time with people who I have missed.

I can go on and on, but you see I chose to share happiness in my life with you all because it outweighs the sadness. Do not get me wrong this year brought me a HUGE heartbreak, but it also brought me to a place of peace and happiness. Weird how that all works out, huh?0e45be40f23f92e6576378ac16c9eacd.jpg

I wanted to share with you all a few tips that I will be doing these next few days to ring in the NEW YEAR.

  • Let that shit go and stop worrying about the shit you can’t change and just let it go. Move on from friendships that are only one way. Move on from guys that are wasting your time. Let go of that family member that is stressing you out. Quit that job you hate so much. Let it all go and start fresh.
  • Clean your house, throw away all the junk food and restock with good for you foods, reorganize everything, do your freaking laundry, fold the clothes, and start fresh!
  • Write down everything your grateful for.
  • Fill up your gas tank. I don’t know about you, but having the stick on full makes me feel wealthy.
  • Go get your hair and nails done and go buy that dress that makes you feel wonderful.
  • CREATE a VISION board for 2017. Go through magazines and pick out everything you want from 2017 and go for it.
  • Chase your DREAMS.

and finally… when midnight hits on January 1, like my best friend and I say “DANCE THAT SHIT OUT,” CELEBRATE the SAME YOU, but with new goals, and LET THAT SHIT GO.mer-9.gif

What will you be doing these next few days to bring in the new year with a bang?

Always, Jasandra

 

Self love Sundays… A day to unwind and love on yourself.

“Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.” ― Aberjhani

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It has been so long since I have loved on myself and I have regretted it every single day. You see when you forget who you are and get into a dark place you start to believe that you are not worthy of love. You are not worthy of feeling beautiful or even of feeling like yourself. So you go on and stay away from anything that can probably make you feel amazing.

Everywhere around us there is this persona that MEN are the only way we will ever feel love and I don’t mean that “love” from your kids, I mean that “love” from your significant other.  You know, the one that makes you feel sexy, worthy, beautiful, a queen!  Well guess what… You dont need a man for that.  Do not get me wrong, it is nice. TRUST ME.. IT IS NICE, but have you ever sat down and tried to do that for yourself? Have you ever taken care of yourself in those ways?

img_1777Today I have dedicated the day to me and only me. Now I can do that today because I don’t have my daughter with me so I am able to relax all day, but for those of you with your kids at all times, try it in the morning before everyone wakes up or in the evening before bed.

So here are a few things you can do to for self-love, that I have done today.

  • Wake up and go for a run. nothing makes you feel better about yourself that sweating a little.  Today I hit Coffee pot which is my favorite place to run here at home because it’s on the water and the view is spectacular.
  • Buy yourself some flowers.. Ladies. It’s okay to get yourself some beautiful roses or your favorite flowers. Then put them in your favorite part of your house so you can see them everyday and smile. Its a daily reminder of how beautiful you are.
  •  Go timg_1778o the store right now and buy yourself a face mask, some sexy scented body wash, and some scented salt and have a fucken bubble bath & well if you have some toys… This is the time to play.  (Prudes… Sorry, but reality is, it feels good and I am not ashamed about it.
  • Go get yourself a pedi and mani, because you don’t want no crusty ass nails. POINT BLANK. There is nothing else to this tip except I need to go get one asap.
  • Go get your eye brows done. That to me is one of the best things ever. The moment you walk out of the eyebrow place you feel like a million dollars. Turn on a delicious scented candle, grab a book, a good book, something that will keep you wanting more and enjoy.
  • & last, but not least go get yourself some sexy langerie and wear it around the house. With or without kids. There is nothign wrong with showing your kids self love and that mommy feels and looks beautiful.

We as women need to do a little more for us and a little less for others because we matter.

We are beautiful.

We do a lot.

We work hard.

We always do for everyone.

It is time you do for you!

How do you self-love?

Share with me and others.

Always, Jasandra

Tinder, Match, E-Harmony oh too many dating sites

“Ahh Tinder, the crystal meth of online dating.” – Simon Taylor, Comedian

cu6v2So here I am sitting in my “office” checking my emails and I have over 100 invites to dating websites.  I swear its like the moment you become single, the dating gods know and start throwing dicks at your face.  Hello back the fuck off please and let me enjoy some alone time. I am recently single and technically still “married,”but I want to enjoy myself and enjoy my independence for as along as I can before the “right” man comes around.

So do not get me wrong, if I find someone attractive and they want to chat, I am all ears, but having to pay a company to find me a date seems pretty absurd.  I haven’t been in the dating game in a very long time and most men I know are either dating someone or married.

Hey if this is something you do, more power to you, I tried, but it was exhausting.  What happened to the days where you met people in random restaurants, school, or grocery stores. Dating seems exhausting right now.

af123039ece2528ba9f6b7339f96a3a1Can I just find someone who wants to cuddle and then go home?!  I kid I kid, but seriously, people help me out here.  Although I am not ready today, I did join Tinder the other day and damn it was like the moment I swiped right the dick pics started to fly. Listen slow down boy at least ask me how I am doing, let’s get to know each other before you bombard me with your tiny penises. I did chat with a  firefighter for a few days to which he tried reminding me daily how hot he was by sending me a photo of his body in bed. So I cancelled Tinder because well… I would like to be able to hold a conversation with someone.  Then I joined E-Harmony and Match and although both seemed great, just to get started you needed to answer to the freaking FBI/CIA. So many freaking questions I gave up, plus I wasn’t paying a single dime.

Not to mention I have a 3 year old daughter who is extremely smart and I definitely do not need some random stranger coming to my house or stalking me, because I am amazing. HA HA HA. Too much confidence huh?

No seriously, the mix changes when you have a kid.  You need to make sure you are picking a good one to come around your kid.  Your kid is your BIGGEST responsibility and you need to keep your child safe and to be honest not a lot of men or women want that responsibility (which I do not expect anyone to claim my kid because she has a wonderful dad,) but you also do not want to pick a douche bag or someone who will mistreat the little one.

On that note, I ask you ladies and gentlemen where did YOU meet your significant other?

Share with me where you go to meet people?

Share with me your horror stories along with your feel good stories.  Do not be shy!

Always, Jasandra

Learning to be alone after a breakup-Loving YOU enough to have dinner with yourself.

“I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.”- Amy Sedaris
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Society these days gives you this sense that you need to be surrounded by people all the time and that you must be in a constant relationship,but do you ever wonder what it is like to be alone?

Do you ever wonder who you are without so many people around you or having a significant other?

These past few weeks have been nothing, but a life lesson.  I have spent the last 6 years of my life surrounded by someone and before that, all I ever did was date. I never knew what it felt like to be alone.  I always had someone in my life, and I had started to forget who I was and what I liked.  I stopped doing the things I loved and started to just settling with what was.

Slowly now that I am alone, I am remembering who I was and I am starting to do those things I enjoy. I am starting to love myself again, which is something I haven’t done in a very long time.

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I turn on candles every single day.  It makes me feel so sexy.
I play music, sing, and dance all day.
On the days I do not have my kid, I eat alone. I have never ate alone before.
I have slowed down.
I am back to my exercise routine.
I am eating well again.
I am more patient.
I am working on my passion.
I am READING. This one is big because I hate to read and I can never sit down and focus, but I have started again and it has been something that has been helping me so much the last few weeks.

It sounds crazy, but when you’re in a relationship for so long, you lose sight of who you are and what you want in life and I am extremely happy that I am able to find that happiness again.

It isn’t easy, it takes time, but slowly we will all get there.

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So if you recently got out of relationship, take your time to get back into the game. Learn who you are and what you like. Date yourself. Take yourself out to a fancy dinner. Grab a bottle of wine and sit at the park and read a book. Go exercise alone. Start a conversation with a stranger. Sit at a bar and buy yourself a drink. Go buy yourself something pretty.

Always, Jasandra