Who says you can’t?

7d425f356f22bc7a351dfb0d0b145b37--brave-quotes-new-quotes I think it took me about 2 hours to write this blog out… I still have no idea what the fuck I want to write about, but here I am… Because I can…  So lately I have found myself struggling with a few changes going on in my life which is why I have been pretty absent.

Let me ask you a question right now.  How many times have you been so excited to tell someone a goal you have, fo them to turn around and give you the stank eye with the whole “That is going to be hard. It’s going to take time.  You’ll need to be dedicated. You won’t have a life”. That shit hits you in the feels the moment you hear it and the doubts you didn’t have, start strolling in.  You start to question yourself.  You start to wonder if this goal is attainable.  You start to panic. I mean can you really accomplish all your goals? My answer to you is yes, but I’m going to be real for a quick second here.  Thats been me lately, the person that gets told its going to be so hard and I won’t achieve my goals… I’ve listened to the negative words people have said to me, and I’ve stepped back from my goals.

Yet here I am today, a day where I called in sick because I’ve been awake since 3am vomiting my heart away.  You know what I’ve done all day? Lay in bed and think. Think about my goals.  The accomplishments I have had.  Ive watched Sex and the City and resonated with some of the ladies because they too (tv show or not) can relate to my experiences. What that fuck have we been doing ladies?  We have been letting other people determine the outcome of OUR lives.  That shit needs to stop right now.  I know for a fact that I, plus many of you ladies have tons of goals.  A new job, a new relationship, a new house, to lose weight, to write a book, to open a blog, to open your own business… We all have those goals, but we need to stop being afraid of success.

not-caringWhy is success such a scary subject?  You know why? Because it’s not easy getting there and it comes with a lot of work, a lot of dedications, a lot of late night, a lot more work and a whole lot of less play.  Shit, I’m wiring this and thinking about all the little things I need to do for my coaching business.  I feel so lost, but these days there’s so many help and so many other people who won’t be negative about you wanting to succeed.  It’s not easy, but can you imagine if we never quit the first 500 times where we would be right now? Probably a lot closer to success then we currently are.

So who gives a fuck if you lose a few friends, who cares if you have to stay in longer, who cares if people tell you its going to be hard… Prove them wrong.. Better yet Prove yourself wrong and soar babe.

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Treat. Yo. Self.

Do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog-Unknown

The last few months I have been trying to kill it at the gym and at home with my meals.  Its been difficult to say the least, but in between working, being a mom, side hustling, trying to live a life, I have managed to drop about 7 lbs and I couldn’t be happier.

tumblr_nxczvmoq661uelehno1_400My friend mentioned to me that she was possibly going to buy herself a new purse (I believe that is what it was) when she hit a new goal with her fitness, which made me stop and think about a goal I would want to achieve and a reward I would give myself. Have you ever done this? Sounds super fun and challenging which is always good.

Usually I set a goal and then I am like “Woohoo, I didn’t cheat this week, let me kill my diet during the weekend, with alcohol and a cheat meal in celebration,” and the next thing you know I have gained all the weight back and all my hard work has gone out the window.

So here with my followers I am going to set a goal and a reward for the month.

Come March, since February is practically over my goals will be as follows:

1.  Make it to the gym at least 3-4 days each week.
2. Eat low carb each week and drink 8 glasses of water a day.
3. I currently weight 176 & would like by the end of the month to at least be 170.

This seem like a lot to accomplish in a month, did you think I would make it super easy for myself? Ya’ll should know by now I love a challenge.

My re28bf206ada490688cac82e81e1966a37ward you ask?

A new pair of my favorite Ray Ban Sunglasses that I have been eyeing for a few months now.  If I don’t reach all 5 of my goals by the end of the month then I will have to try again the following month, but if I hit at least 4 out of 5, I will take myself out for a massage or a mani/pedi.

Have you ever used a reward system for your goals? What did you buy? What were your goals for the month?

Whos joining me?

Always, Jasandra

Your time is limited…. So do what you love.

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” – Ray Bradbury

inspirational-travel-quotes-03For years I have wanted to travel alone to a destination where I didn’t know a single person. My heart and my soul have been dying for this opportunity and although they were present, I never took them.  I let fear get into the way of what I truly wanted.  This year, one of my goals was to say no to the things that didn’t give me life or passion, and say yes to the things that made me feel alive. I also let money stop me in my decision.  I kept telling myself i couldn’t afford it, but yet I was going out drinking and eating out.  I needed to get my priorities straight.

So there I was one night a few weeks ago on Airbnb searching places to stay in different destinations. I asked my friends, I asked strangers, I asked every single person I came across, if I was making the right choice in traveling alone, along with it being safe. I questioned every single move of mine. Then it hit me, “FUCK IT AND BOOK IT, JASANDRA. You’ll survive and you’ll have the time of your life.  You have wanted this for a long time. If you don’t do it now, you’ll NEVER do it.”  So I found the cutest  freaking Historic home in Savannah, Georgia, emailed the guy and boom I booked it. If I would have contemplated too much I would have never done it. You guys, it’s so cute!!river-street-savannah-georgia-top

I get to drive now to a city I have never been in, talk to people I have never spoken to, take tours, hit up bars and restaurants and just travel at my leisure. I can sit in my room and write or a read a book, or get in my car and go else where.  There is no itinerary, there is no one waiting for me, there is no time limit.

I can get lost and in love with this beautiful city. Learn about myself along with loving on myself.

I am literally ecstatic to be doing this trip.  I bust my ass on the daily with my job and my kid, this momma deserves a trip where she doesn’t have to take care of anyone along with being free and not following any type of schedule…living on the edge, if you may.

795b3d785811e3387db58b1505a61ad6The way I see it is, if you keep waiting to do the things you love, you’ll be waiting forever. Time doesn’t stop for anyone and opportunities will pass you right on by. So go out there and book that trip, date that guy, sit at a bar alone, order some champagne, have sex, live your life.  Always with care and awareness, but live life.

If you’re a parent you deserve this, if you’re not you deserve this. Do not feel guilty, because you are human and we as humans deserve to spoil ourselves and enjoy the only life we have.

If tomorrow you died, would you have lived?

Always, Jasandra

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creating a positive space in your life.

“You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.” — Deepak Chopra

a2b236dcd5e02b76dee4a5e41d310266Here I am sitting in my office (and by office I mean my room.  Where I sit at my tiny little white Ikea desk, listening to Coldplay, with my lit soy candle, 3 self motivational books, and my Jasmine tea.)  It’s where I feel myself these days and I am not ashamed of it.

I have been living in negativity for a while now, and of course it is my fault, but over the weekend and this past month I have had some sort of revelation and I have been working very hard to get myself into a positive mindset and I only have been able to do this with an amazing group of friends, an amazing Facebook page, and my own fucking self.

So if you have been negative, down on yourself, or just pretty much hating everything this blog is aimed towards you!

STEP 1 is to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT FUNK and START to LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Here is what has helped me during this journey and hopefully it can help you some.

1.  unnamedDo you have a safe place? Somewhere where you feel like yourself. Somewhere you can be you and no one is watching? If not, then get one. Hence my Ikea desk.  It is small, it is not made of the best wood in the world, I hit my head while building it, but when I sit on my hand me down chair I feel like myself.  I feel like I am worth something. Go ahead and right now stand up and find a small space in your house that you can make yours. Throw some pillows, a blanket, a scented candle, and some books, and let this be the place you come to when you need to center yourself.

2. If you are like me you spend a lot of time on Social media and don’t let anyone give you a hard time for that. Social media is the shit and will be the future of all futures so get on that shit and create your dreams. First though you must delete any negativity. This is a place you check in so often so you need to make it something positive. I recently had to delete a few folks, unfollow a few friends, and join some motivational groups.  Trust me it helps. So go through your newsfeed and unfollow any fucker that makes you feel like shit, or doesn’t uplift you. Go ahead and now join a group that will inspire you, that will make you want to be a better person. I recently did this and you have no idea how amazing it feels to log into my social media and see people lifting others up and not bringing them down. TRUST me on this one!

3. As for real life? Do the same shit.  If someone isn’t making you happy or isn’t making you feel like you are GOD then delete them from your life. Family, friends, acquaintances, it doesn’t matter. Bye Felicia. We don’t have time for this shit and we definitely don’t have time for the drama and negativity so bye girl bye. Keep a small circle of friends that love you and ill always lift you up.

4. STOP right now and go to Amazon and get yourself some motivational self-help books. TRUST ME. They save your life, make you a better person, and inspire you to do anything your little heart desires. A few books I love and read over and over again are #girlboss by Sophia Amoruso, Girl Code and The Champagne Diet by the amazing Cara Alwill Leyba, and I am that Girl by Alexis Jones.  These books are little daily reminders that I am amazing and I can achieve anything I put my mind to.

5. EXERCISE and EAT RIGHT. Nothing is worse than treating your body like shit and not fueling it with the right tools to survive. You can’t be successful or happy if you’re stuffing your face with cheese burgers every day. I am not kidding here guys (as I take my hand out of the kettle corn popcorn bag) indulging once in a while is great, but take care of you. It’s not expensive trust me I am a single mom on a budget and I eat right and exercise 3-5 days a week. It is doable, so stop the bullshit excuses.

cb2155f0f78c4a497fa296440aa586eb6. What song currently is your life? Mine would be “Something in the Water” by Carrie Underwood (which BTW I am seeing her in concert this Wednesday and I couldn’t be happier). Music cures all things. It has taken me out of the darkest situations, but has blessed me with the greatest memories. So when you’re sad find a playlist that will make you happy, but when you feel like crying, put on some Adele, grab some tissues, and cry your eyes out. It is okay to feel sad and cry, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

7. Go out on a date with yourself. Buy yourself that dress, those heels, and  go out to a nice restaurant or bar and buy yourself a drink. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are ENOUGH.

8. Last… BE authentically you.  Nothing makes you live in sadness and negativity than hiding your true self.  I want to learn about you. The real you and so does the world. So stop hiding from everyone and stop being afraid of what people will think because if you surround yourself with good people they will love you for YOU!

As you can see these are all super easy things you can do on a daily basis to lift yourself and your life up, but you have to follow them. I can tell you a million and one things, but like anything, you have to be willing to step forward and do them.  I have learned that life is way too short to not live it happy and negative free. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

Share below any tips you might have to live a more positive uplifting life.

Always,
Jasandra

What I have learned this past week.

Its been a week since I got my own apartment and started this new journey in my life and I have to say that day 1 was rough, and a lot of tears were shed.  Some were happy tears and some were very sad tears.  I don’t know about you, but when I am alone my mind just races and I start to think about every single thing possible.  You sit down when you’re alone and you start to reflect on your past and see everything that you thought you worked so hard for, just go right out of the window. I mean at least this was my situation this past week.

This week has given me a lot of time to focus on me and focus on my daughter.  To stay clear of the phone when I am with her, unless its to get some adorable pictures of her because guys… That smile of hers is just pure perfection, but seriously though, its given me this bond with her this past week that was just…perfect.  I feel like before I was so caught up with the stress of life that I wasnt paying as much attention to her as I should and that I regret, but I am grateful I have so much time to make up for it.

One of the many things I learned this week is that Savannah very much felt the stress I was feeling.  When we were back “home” with daddy, she was a different child.  Acting up, hitting at school, not listening, giving us a hard time to go to bed, and just being plain old grumpy.  While I know that is normal with kids, it was not a normal thing for our kid, because she never acted like that. Move forward to this week, we have out little girl back.  It’s like all the stress I had, she had, and the moment I moved out, she was relieved.

Another thing I learned this week was that I am non stop and I do not know when to stop and smell the roses. Listen I know im like that, but this week I didn’t have anyone reminding me but myself and man my ass is go-go go. I don’t know how many times I mopped this floor, how many times I cleaned the bathroom, and how many times I threw the trash away. Maybe I am a voiding something.. Who knows, but I am exhausted from just writing this.  I just like a clean house..right?

Groceries… It’s so much cheaper when it’s just two people and mind you, one of them is a toddler. I sat down planned my meals and the meals I’ll make when little bits is here and my fridge still looks empty, yet it’s filled with pre-made food that I cooked for the entire week! Hello I say that is a win in itself and the bill at Trader Joes for the week was well.. 4o BUCKS. $$$$ in the pocket baby.

What else can I bore you with that I learned this week???

I like to be alone. Is that weird? Like I love living alone with my kid, but when she isn’t here with me and she is with her daddy, I enjoy the peace and quiet. I enjoy reading my book in silence with some tea or coffee, but I also love blasting the music and dancing in my underwear all Tom Cruise style.. Except I don’t have his moves..

tumblr_m948uxai211r2r0koo1_500As I go onto this new week, it excited me with all the changes and all the new things I am going to learn about myself again.  Feeling lost and feeling like you don’t even know yourself is hard as fuck and it truly sucks, but I am very positive that the outcome will be great and I’ll fall in love all over with myself, because let’s be honest for a second…  You need to learn to live with yourself and love yourself first before you can ever find happiness.

Hugs and kisses folks..

Always,
Jasandra

It’s NOT selfish to take care of you. It’s not selfish to have wants and needs.

Now let me go ahead and ask you a question, if you don’t take care of yourself, who is going to take care of you?

Shit, ladies… I know so many of you that gravel to your husband’s feet and don’t get me wrong that is totally okay if that is the kind of marriage you have, but what is not okay is when you do everything for them and your family, yet they don’t do anything for you and act like you’re the slave in the house.

If you continue to allow it, it will continue to happen.

We as women need to take time for us.  We need to dedicate time to ourselves to our girlfriends, to our souls. It doesn’t matter if it’s a hair appointment your nails getting done, some gym time, or taking a bath in peace and quiet with a nice HUGE glass of wine.

We deserve “ME” time.

We need to stand up for what we deserve. We are women. We are strong.

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Stay at home moms need more “ME” time than most other moms because they are home all day with their kids. No it’s not a curse its s blessing, but they need some adult interaction. I use to be a stay at home mom and its tough, in my opinion its one of the toughest jobs out there.

I follow a few pages on Facebook about moms and their families and it makes me feel sad for so many women that complain about their significant others. First of all, you should never take social media to talk shit about your other half and second of all complaining about it on Facebook isn’t going to make the situation better.  Yes a good vent is awesome, but not every single day.  As I say this, don’t get me wrong I head to these pages too for support and guidance, but never about my marriage and never to complain about what “I” don’t get.

We as women need to stand up, demand respect, and demand help.  The things I see some women write about their men infuriates me.  Why are you with them? Why waste your time? You deserve so much better than that and before you go ahead and say something , I have a right to my opinion because I too have experienced this, and I too once in a past time was that girl who blasted about my significant other every chance I got, but that did nothing for me, only made it worse.

No no, my marriage is not perfect, good lord its far from perfect, we fight, we scream, we tell each other off, but if we have an issue we sit down and talk about it and try to fix it.  We help each other around the house, he helps with Savannah, he gets his guy time and I get my girl time and we both never complain about it. We appreciate each other and we don’t blast each other on social media.

We as women need to have respect for ourselves and when something is not working for us, try to fix it and if it keeps failing us then its time to make that decision of moving on.  WE deserve so much better.

Stand up for yourself because YOU deserve it.

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