Who says you can’t?

7d425f356f22bc7a351dfb0d0b145b37--brave-quotes-new-quotes I think it took me about 2 hours to write this blog out… I still have no idea what the fuck I want to write about, but here I am… Because I can…  So lately I have found myself struggling with a few changes going on in my life which is why I have been pretty absent.

Let me ask you a question right now.  How many times have you been so excited to tell someone a goal you have, fo them to turn around and give you the stank eye with the whole “That is going to be hard. It’s going to take time.  You’ll need to be dedicated. You won’t have a life”. That shit hits you in the feels the moment you hear it and the doubts you didn’t have, start strolling in.  You start to question yourself.  You start to wonder if this goal is attainable.  You start to panic. I mean can you really accomplish all your goals? My answer to you is yes, but I’m going to be real for a quick second here.  Thats been me lately, the person that gets told its going to be so hard and I won’t achieve my goals… I’ve listened to the negative words people have said to me, and I’ve stepped back from my goals.

Yet here I am today, a day where I called in sick because I’ve been awake since 3am vomiting my heart away.  You know what I’ve done all day? Lay in bed and think. Think about my goals.  The accomplishments I have had.  Ive watched Sex and the City and resonated with some of the ladies because they too (tv show or not) can relate to my experiences. What that fuck have we been doing ladies?  We have been letting other people determine the outcome of OUR lives.  That shit needs to stop right now.  I know for a fact that I, plus many of you ladies have tons of goals.  A new job, a new relationship, a new house, to lose weight, to write a book, to open a blog, to open your own business… We all have those goals, but we need to stop being afraid of success.

not-caringWhy is success such a scary subject?  You know why? Because it’s not easy getting there and it comes with a lot of work, a lot of dedications, a lot of late night, a lot more work and a whole lot of less play.  Shit, I’m wiring this and thinking about all the little things I need to do for my coaching business.  I feel so lost, but these days there’s so many help and so many other people who won’t be negative about you wanting to succeed.  It’s not easy, but can you imagine if we never quit the first 500 times where we would be right now? Probably a lot closer to success then we currently are.

So who gives a fuck if you lose a few friends, who cares if you have to stay in longer, who cares if people tell you its going to be hard… Prove them wrong.. Better yet Prove yourself wrong and soar babe.

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Treat. Yo. Self.

Do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog-Unknown

The last few months I have been trying to kill it at the gym and at home with my meals.  Its been difficult to say the least, but in between working, being a mom, side hustling, trying to live a life, I have managed to drop about 7 lbs and I couldn’t be happier.

tumblr_nxczvmoq661uelehno1_400My friend mentioned to me that she was possibly going to buy herself a new purse (I believe that is what it was) when she hit a new goal with her fitness, which made me stop and think about a goal I would want to achieve and a reward I would give myself. Have you ever done this? Sounds super fun and challenging which is always good.

Usually I set a goal and then I am like “Woohoo, I didn’t cheat this week, let me kill my diet during the weekend, with alcohol and a cheat meal in celebration,” and the next thing you know I have gained all the weight back and all my hard work has gone out the window.

So here with my followers I am going to set a goal and a reward for the month.

Come March, since February is practically over my goals will be as follows:

1.  Make it to the gym at least 3-4 days each week.
2. Eat low carb each week and drink 8 glasses of water a day.
3. I currently weight 176 & would like by the end of the month to at least be 170.

This seem like a lot to accomplish in a month, did you think I would make it super easy for myself? Ya’ll should know by now I love a challenge.

My re28bf206ada490688cac82e81e1966a37ward you ask?

A new pair of my favorite Ray Ban Sunglasses that I have been eyeing for a few months now.  If I don’t reach all 5 of my goals by the end of the month then I will have to try again the following month, but if I hit at least 4 out of 5, I will take myself out for a massage or a mani/pedi.

Have you ever used a reward system for your goals? What did you buy? What were your goals for the month?

Whos joining me?

Always, Jasandra

Tinder, Match, E-Harmony oh too many dating sites

“Ahh Tinder, the crystal meth of online dating.” – Simon Taylor, Comedian

cu6v2So here I am sitting in my “office” checking my emails and I have over 100 invites to dating websites.  I swear its like the moment you become single, the dating gods know and start throwing dicks at your face.  Hello back the fuck off please and let me enjoy some alone time. I am recently single and technically still “married,”but I want to enjoy myself and enjoy my independence for as along as I can before the “right” man comes around.

So do not get me wrong, if I find someone attractive and they want to chat, I am all ears, but having to pay a company to find me a date seems pretty absurd.  I haven’t been in the dating game in a very long time and most men I know are either dating someone or married.

Hey if this is something you do, more power to you, I tried, but it was exhausting.  What happened to the days where you met people in random restaurants, school, or grocery stores. Dating seems exhausting right now.

af123039ece2528ba9f6b7339f96a3a1Can I just find someone who wants to cuddle and then go home?!  I kid I kid, but seriously, people help me out here.  Although I am not ready today, I did join Tinder the other day and damn it was like the moment I swiped right the dick pics started to fly. Listen slow down boy at least ask me how I am doing, let’s get to know each other before you bombard me with your tiny penises. I did chat with a  firefighter for a few days to which he tried reminding me daily how hot he was by sending me a photo of his body in bed. So I cancelled Tinder because well… I would like to be able to hold a conversation with someone.  Then I joined E-Harmony and Match and although both seemed great, just to get started you needed to answer to the freaking FBI/CIA. So many freaking questions I gave up, plus I wasn’t paying a single dime.

Not to mention I have a 3 year old daughter who is extremely smart and I definitely do not need some random stranger coming to my house or stalking me, because I am amazing. HA HA HA. Too much confidence huh?

No seriously, the mix changes when you have a kid.  You need to make sure you are picking a good one to come around your kid.  Your kid is your BIGGEST responsibility and you need to keep your child safe and to be honest not a lot of men or women want that responsibility (which I do not expect anyone to claim my kid because she has a wonderful dad,) but you also do not want to pick a douche bag or someone who will mistreat the little one.

On that note, I ask you ladies and gentlemen where did YOU meet your significant other?

Share with me where you go to meet people?

Share with me your horror stories along with your feel good stories.  Do not be shy!

Always, Jasandra

Creating a positive space in your life.

“You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.” — Deepak Chopra

a2b236dcd5e02b76dee4a5e41d310266Here I am sitting in my office (and by office I mean my room.  Where I sit at my tiny little white Ikea desk, listening to Coldplay, with my lit soy candle, 3 self motivational books, and my Jasmine tea.)  It’s where I feel myself these days and I am not ashamed of it.

I have been living in negativity for a while now, and of course it is my fault, but over the weekend and this past month I have had some sort of revelation and I have been working very hard to get myself into a positive mindset and I only have been able to do this with an amazing group of friends, an amazing Facebook page, and my own fucking self.

So if you have been negative, down on yourself, or just pretty much hating everything this blog is aimed towards you!

STEP 1 is to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT FUNK and START to LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Here is what has helped me during this journey and hopefully it can help you some.

1.  unnamedDo you have a safe place? Somewhere where you feel like yourself. Somewhere you can be you and no one is watching? If not, then get one. Hence my Ikea desk.  It is small, it is not made of the best wood in the world, I hit my head while building it, but when I sit on my hand me down chair I feel like myself.  I feel like I am worth something. Go ahead and right now stand up and find a small space in your house that you can make yours. Throw some pillows, a blanket, a scented candle, and some books, and let this be the place you come to when you need to center yourself.

2. If you are like me you spend a lot of time on Social media and don’t let anyone give you a hard time for that. Social media is the shit and will be the future of all futures so get on that shit and create your dreams. First though you must delete any negativity. This is a place you check in so often so you need to make it something positive. I recently had to delete a few folks, unfollow a few friends, and join some motivational groups.  Trust me it helps. So go through your newsfeed and unfollow any fucker that makes you feel like shit, or doesn’t uplift you. Go ahead and now join a group that will inspire you, that will make you want to be a better person. I recently did this and you have no idea how amazing it feels to log into my social media and see people lifting others up and not bringing them down. TRUST me on this one!

3. As for real life? Do the same shit.  If someone isn’t making you happy or isn’t making you feel like you are GOD then delete them from your life. Family, friends, acquaintances, it doesn’t matter. Bye Felicia. We don’t have time for this shit and we definitely don’t have time for the drama and negativity so bye girl bye. Keep a small circle of friends that love you and ill always lift you up.

4. STOP right now and go to Amazon and get yourself some motivational self-help books. TRUST ME. They save your life, make you a better person, and inspire you to do anything your little heart desires. A few books I love and read over and over again are #girlboss by Sophia Amoruso, Girl Code and The Champagne Diet by the amazing Cara Alwill Leyba, and I am that Girl by Alexis Jones.  These books are little daily reminders that I am amazing and I can achieve anything I put my mind to.

5. EXERCISE and EAT RIGHT. Nothing is worse than treating your body like shit and not fueling it with the right tools to survive. You can’t be successful or happy if you’re stuffing your face with cheese burgers every day. I am not kidding here guys (as I take my hand out of the kettle corn popcorn bag) indulging once in a while is great, but take care of you. It’s not expensive trust me I am a single mom on a budget and I eat right and exercise 3-5 days a week. It is doable, so stop the bullshit excuses.

cb2155f0f78c4a497fa296440aa586eb6. What song currently is your life? Mine would be “Something in the Water” by Carrie Underwood (which BTW I am seeing her in concert this Wednesday and I couldn’t be happier). Music cures all things. It has taken me out of the darkest situations, but has blessed me with the greatest memories. So when you’re sad find a playlist that will make you happy, but when you feel like crying, put on some Adele, grab some tissues, and cry your eyes out. It is okay to feel sad and cry, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

7. Go out on a date with yourself. Buy yourself that dress, those heels, and  go out to a nice restaurant or bar and buy yourself a drink. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are ENOUGH.

8. Last… BE authentically you.  Nothing makes you live in sadness and negativity than hiding your true self.  I want to learn about you. The real you and so does the world. So stop hiding from everyone and stop being afraid of what people will think because if you surround yourself with good people they will love you for YOU!

As you can see these are all super easy things you can do on a daily basis to lift yourself and your life up, but you have to follow them. I can tell you a million and one things, but like anything, you have to be willing to step forward and do them.  I have learned that life is way too short to not live it happy and negative free. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

Share below any tips you might have to live a more positive uplifting life.

Always,
Jasandra

So many people, so many opinions.

The past month or so there has been so much going on. I know I am not the only one that experiences this, but you guys know, that it can weigh on us hard. I always try to be that person that doesn’t let others opinions of my life and what I do affect me, but sometimes you can’t avoid the inevitable.

A little over a year ago I decided to jump on the Beachbody train not knowing much about it. I knew some people who were coaches and it seemed to go well for them, but good lord I couldn’t afford those shakes, but I figured man, I have this passion for helping people, I will figure out a way. Just like your or I can figure out a way to make the thing we really want happen.  It aint easy, its hard as shit, but I believe it to be worth it.

During this time I have met many supportive and not supportive people.  Some that just get it and some that just will never get it.  A lot of times I have let the people who don’t get it make me not get it and that shit sucks. Because who the hell are you to  tell me I am a fraud, or tell me I suck and I’ll never amount to something that it’s just a scam!

How about a big old fuck you?!!?!? Or better yet, fuck me for not believing in myself enough to tell you to back off?!?!?

This past month has brought a lot of insight to my business and to myself. I have learned a lot about what I want and who I am and what I need to do to help millions of people become healthier and happier.

You know who I am?

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I am a Beachbody coach.  I am a health and fitness junkie.  I am a nerd.  I am a crossfitter. I am a runner. I am a mother.  I am a wife. I am a cook. I am funny.  I am a great friend.  I am a great person.  I am a lover. I am a dog and cat mom.  I am a motivator. I am a supporter. I am your cheerleader. I am loud. I don’t have a filter. I am insanely crazy.  I am me!

For a split second I lost myself, but I never left.

So whatever it is in this life you want to accomplish, others will talk, others will have opinions, but you will make the decision to do whatever the hell it is YOU want.

So go out there and do you boo, because while they are talking you’re being undefeated.