Treat. Yo. Self.

Do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog-Unknown

The last few months I have been trying to kill it at the gym and at home with my meals.  Its been difficult to say the least, but in between working, being a mom, side hustling, trying to live a life, I have managed to drop about 7 lbs and I couldn’t be happier.

tumblr_nxczvmoq661uelehno1_400My friend mentioned to me that she was possibly going to buy herself a new purse (I believe that is what it was) when she hit a new goal with her fitness, which made me stop and think about a goal I would want to achieve and a reward I would give myself. Have you ever done this? Sounds super fun and challenging which is always good.

Usually I set a goal and then I am like “Woohoo, I didn’t cheat this week, let me kill my diet during the weekend, with alcohol and a cheat meal in celebration,” and the next thing you know I have gained all the weight back and all my hard work has gone out the window.

So here with my followers I am going to set a goal and a reward for the month.

Come March, since February is practically over my goals will be as follows:

1.  Make it to the gym at least 3-4 days each week.
2. Eat low carb each week and drink 8 glasses of water a day.
3. I currently weight 176 & would like by the end of the month to at least be 170.

This seem like a lot to accomplish in a month, did you think I would make it super easy for myself? Ya’ll should know by now I love a challenge.

My re28bf206ada490688cac82e81e1966a37ward you ask?

A new pair of my favorite Ray Ban Sunglasses that I have been eyeing for a few months now.  If I don’t reach all 5 of my goals by the end of the month then I will have to try again the following month, but if I hit at least 4 out of 5, I will take myself out for a massage or a mani/pedi.

Have you ever used a reward system for your goals? What did you buy? What were your goals for the month?

Whos joining me?

Always, Jasandra

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Self love Sundays… A day to unwind and love on yourself.

“Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.” ― Aberjhani

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It has been so long since I have loved on myself and I have regretted it every single day. You see when you forget who you are and get into a dark place you start to believe that you are not worthy of love. You are not worthy of feeling beautiful or even of feeling like yourself. So you go on and stay away from anything that can probably make you feel amazing.

Everywhere around us there is this persona that MEN are the only way we will ever feel love and I don’t mean that “love” from your kids, I mean that “love” from your significant other.  You know, the one that makes you feel sexy, worthy, beautiful, a queen!  Well guess what… You dont need a man for that.  Do not get me wrong, it is nice. TRUST ME.. IT IS NICE, but have you ever sat down and tried to do that for yourself? Have you ever taken care of yourself in those ways?

img_1777Today I have dedicated the day to me and only me. Now I can do that today because I don’t have my daughter with me so I am able to relax all day, but for those of you with your kids at all times, try it in the morning before everyone wakes up or in the evening before bed.

So here are a few things you can do to for self-love, that I have done today.

  • Wake up and go for a run. nothing makes you feel better about yourself that sweating a little.  Today I hit Coffee pot which is my favorite place to run here at home because it’s on the water and the view is spectacular.
  • Buy yourself some flowers.. Ladies. It’s okay to get yourself some beautiful roses or your favorite flowers. Then put them in your favorite part of your house so you can see them everyday and smile. Its a daily reminder of how beautiful you are.
  •  Go timg_1778o the store right now and buy yourself a face mask, some sexy scented body wash, and some scented salt and have a fucken bubble bath & well if you have some toys… This is the time to play.  (Prudes… Sorry, but reality is, it feels good and I am not ashamed about it.
  • Go get yourself a pedi and mani, because you don’t want no crusty ass nails. POINT BLANK. There is nothing else to this tip except I need to go get one asap.
  • Go get your eye brows done. That to me is one of the best things ever. The moment you walk out of the eyebrow place you feel like a million dollars. Turn on a delicious scented candle, grab a book, a good book, something that will keep you wanting more and enjoy.
  • & last, but not least go get yourself some sexy langerie and wear it around the house. With or without kids. There is nothign wrong with showing your kids self love and that mommy feels and looks beautiful.

We as women need to do a little more for us and a little less for others because we matter.

We are beautiful.

We do a lot.

We work hard.

We always do for everyone.

It is time you do for you!

How do you self-love?

Share with me and others.

Always, Jasandra

Tinder, Match, E-Harmony oh too many dating sites

“Ahh Tinder, the crystal meth of online dating.” – Simon Taylor, Comedian

cu6v2So here I am sitting in my “office” checking my emails and I have over 100 invites to dating websites.  I swear its like the moment you become single, the dating gods know and start throwing dicks at your face.  Hello back the fuck off please and let me enjoy some alone time. I am recently single and technically still “married,”but I want to enjoy myself and enjoy my independence for as along as I can before the “right” man comes around.

So do not get me wrong, if I find someone attractive and they want to chat, I am all ears, but having to pay a company to find me a date seems pretty absurd.  I haven’t been in the dating game in a very long time and most men I know are either dating someone or married.

Hey if this is something you do, more power to you, I tried, but it was exhausting.  What happened to the days where you met people in random restaurants, school, or grocery stores. Dating seems exhausting right now.

af123039ece2528ba9f6b7339f96a3a1Can I just find someone who wants to cuddle and then go home?!  I kid I kid, but seriously, people help me out here.  Although I am not ready today, I did join Tinder the other day and damn it was like the moment I swiped right the dick pics started to fly. Listen slow down boy at least ask me how I am doing, let’s get to know each other before you bombard me with your tiny penises. I did chat with a  firefighter for a few days to which he tried reminding me daily how hot he was by sending me a photo of his body in bed. So I cancelled Tinder because well… I would like to be able to hold a conversation with someone.  Then I joined E-Harmony and Match and although both seemed great, just to get started you needed to answer to the freaking FBI/CIA. So many freaking questions I gave up, plus I wasn’t paying a single dime.

Not to mention I have a 3 year old daughter who is extremely smart and I definitely do not need some random stranger coming to my house or stalking me, because I am amazing. HA HA HA. Too much confidence huh?

No seriously, the mix changes when you have a kid.  You need to make sure you are picking a good one to come around your kid.  Your kid is your BIGGEST responsibility and you need to keep your child safe and to be honest not a lot of men or women want that responsibility (which I do not expect anyone to claim my kid because she has a wonderful dad,) but you also do not want to pick a douche bag or someone who will mistreat the little one.

On that note, I ask you ladies and gentlemen where did YOU meet your significant other?

Share with me where you go to meet people?

Share with me your horror stories along with your feel good stories.  Do not be shy!

Always, Jasandra

Creating a positive space in your life.

“You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.” — Deepak Chopra

a2b236dcd5e02b76dee4a5e41d310266Here I am sitting in my office (and by office I mean my room.  Where I sit at my tiny little white Ikea desk, listening to Coldplay, with my lit soy candle, 3 self motivational books, and my Jasmine tea.)  It’s where I feel myself these days and I am not ashamed of it.

I have been living in negativity for a while now, and of course it is my fault, but over the weekend and this past month I have had some sort of revelation and I have been working very hard to get myself into a positive mindset and I only have been able to do this with an amazing group of friends, an amazing Facebook page, and my own fucking self.

So if you have been negative, down on yourself, or just pretty much hating everything this blog is aimed towards you!

STEP 1 is to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT FUNK and START to LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Here is what has helped me during this journey and hopefully it can help you some.

1.  unnamedDo you have a safe place? Somewhere where you feel like yourself. Somewhere you can be you and no one is watching? If not, then get one. Hence my Ikea desk.  It is small, it is not made of the best wood in the world, I hit my head while building it, but when I sit on my hand me down chair I feel like myself.  I feel like I am worth something. Go ahead and right now stand up and find a small space in your house that you can make yours. Throw some pillows, a blanket, a scented candle, and some books, and let this be the place you come to when you need to center yourself.

2. If you are like me you spend a lot of time on Social media and don’t let anyone give you a hard time for that. Social media is the shit and will be the future of all futures so get on that shit and create your dreams. First though you must delete any negativity. This is a place you check in so often so you need to make it something positive. I recently had to delete a few folks, unfollow a few friends, and join some motivational groups.  Trust me it helps. So go through your newsfeed and unfollow any fucker that makes you feel like shit, or doesn’t uplift you. Go ahead and now join a group that will inspire you, that will make you want to be a better person. I recently did this and you have no idea how amazing it feels to log into my social media and see people lifting others up and not bringing them down. TRUST me on this one!

3. As for real life? Do the same shit.  If someone isn’t making you happy or isn’t making you feel like you are GOD then delete them from your life. Family, friends, acquaintances, it doesn’t matter. Bye Felicia. We don’t have time for this shit and we definitely don’t have time for the drama and negativity so bye girl bye. Keep a small circle of friends that love you and ill always lift you up.

4. STOP right now and go to Amazon and get yourself some motivational self-help books. TRUST ME. They save your life, make you a better person, and inspire you to do anything your little heart desires. A few books I love and read over and over again are #girlboss by Sophia Amoruso, Girl Code and The Champagne Diet by the amazing Cara Alwill Leyba, and I am that Girl by Alexis Jones.  These books are little daily reminders that I am amazing and I can achieve anything I put my mind to.

5. EXERCISE and EAT RIGHT. Nothing is worse than treating your body like shit and not fueling it with the right tools to survive. You can’t be successful or happy if you’re stuffing your face with cheese burgers every day. I am not kidding here guys (as I take my hand out of the kettle corn popcorn bag) indulging once in a while is great, but take care of you. It’s not expensive trust me I am a single mom on a budget and I eat right and exercise 3-5 days a week. It is doable, so stop the bullshit excuses.

cb2155f0f78c4a497fa296440aa586eb6. What song currently is your life? Mine would be “Something in the Water” by Carrie Underwood (which BTW I am seeing her in concert this Wednesday and I couldn’t be happier). Music cures all things. It has taken me out of the darkest situations, but has blessed me with the greatest memories. So when you’re sad find a playlist that will make you happy, but when you feel like crying, put on some Adele, grab some tissues, and cry your eyes out. It is okay to feel sad and cry, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

7. Go out on a date with yourself. Buy yourself that dress, those heels, and  go out to a nice restaurant or bar and buy yourself a drink. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are ENOUGH.

8. Last… BE authentically you.  Nothing makes you live in sadness and negativity than hiding your true self.  I want to learn about you. The real you and so does the world. So stop hiding from everyone and stop being afraid of what people will think because if you surround yourself with good people they will love you for YOU!

As you can see these are all super easy things you can do on a daily basis to lift yourself and your life up, but you have to follow them. I can tell you a million and one things, but like anything, you have to be willing to step forward and do them.  I have learned that life is way too short to not live it happy and negative free. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

Share below any tips you might have to live a more positive uplifting life.

Always,
Jasandra

From lost to found…

Gosh guys… Do you ever sit down and wonder what you were doing this time a few years back?  It’s so funny how things change, life changes, friends change, YOU change.  I remember clearly what I was doing in Miami a few years back.

Most likely drinking, having sex in random spots, and just being a hot mess with no goals and no respect for myself.  Listen I am pretty blunt and open about my life and one thing my husband appreciates it my honesty.  You’ll never get the sugar shit overload version, I am all, but real over here guys.

Jasandra then….

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Without a doubt you would always find me with a cigarette, some weed, or a drink in my hand.  It was my life.  No boyfriends, no responsibilities, just work and friends to live life with. I swear I was living the dream..Well at least I thought that. Till I met an ex started drinking and being a wild child.  I lost my job, I lost friends, I lost my ex.  It was hard, it was heartbreaking, I thought I was going to die. Ladies come on you know that “one” true love always hurts the most.

Moving along.. being young is fun.  No responsibility, no attachments, no kids, and you live free to do whatever he hell you want. I miss those days.  Not because I hate my life now because I live a happy life.  My life is exactly what I have always wanted, but me and my husband sit and talk sometimes about the past about our lives before and how we miss not having responsibilities.

You know though, I wont lie and you tell me if I am right. Kids are rough. Kids are tough and being a parent is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, along with being a wife. Its not all cookies and cream, its all hard work. It takes dedication, It takes communication, it takes falling down and getting back up.

Its the hardest most amazing thing i have ever done in my life and I do not regret one day. not one minute. not one fight. not one bad day because with all the heartaches theres more days of love, laughter, wrestling, giggles, cuddles, sex (can you ever have too much?, vacations, i love yous.

Jasandra now?

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Now… I am married to the love of my life. I have a beautiful daughter who I call my little “miracle.” I have my own health and fitness business helping women be the best version of themselves they can be, amazing supportive friends.  I take care of myself, workout, and teach my family that even though we live on a budget we can still live life the healthy way.  I am happy, healthy, loving, and a changed woman.  I go out with my ladies for out girls night, I go out with my husband on dates ( cant wait for ours tomorrow), we live a life of meaning, a life of support, a life to change the world.

Change is hard.Chard is tough.Change is challenging, but oh man when you aren’t happy with who you are and you make that commitment to change yourself for better… The reward is so much more fulfilling.

So yes..
People can change.
Don’t ever judge a book my its cover.
You don’t know where people come from.
There is always time to be a better version of yourself if you’re not happy.
Stop making excuses and go for it.
Life will happen.

 

Always, Jasandra